If you are lucky enough to have a friend who is going to the same school, you may have a built-in roommate. For the rest of you college students, the idea of rooming with a complete stranger is probably a little overwhelming. Today’s colleges and universities have gotten wiser about managing this process and they will usually send you a form to complete that will help them determine your preferences in advance and match you with someone who has similar taste, preferences and ideas. HOWEVER, those forms cannot possibly capture all the small details and nuances that make a roommate a friend or provide you with a comfortable living relationship.
There are two things you should understand about the college roommate issue: a) don’t make snap judgments and ask to move right away because you think you will be unhappy. Allow some time for you to get to know each other and to transition to college life before you run out the door, and b) if you have given it the best chance you can, tried talking about differences and issues and you are miserable, DO NOT stay miserable. Ask to be moved! The disruption to your schedule and life will be worth it, if you are happier in your new location and you will be more successful in college if your living conditions are positive.
If your school sends you the name of the roommate they chose to share your dorm room, give them a call and ask them some questions. If you feel the match is a bad one, address it NOW, so that the school can make the changes before you arrive. Here are some things you can talk about during the initial conversation with your roommate. Ask whether he/she:
– Likes to go out a lot or stay in the dorm room?
– Likes to listen to music, watch TV or have other background noise while studying (and find out what kind of music they like)
– Likes to have a lot of people in the room all the time
– Likes to smoke, drink, experiment with drugs
– Plans to have overnight guests (if the school allows it)
– Gets up early or goes to bed late
– Plans to bring a refrigerator, microwave, TV, etc (you can plan to split these things so that neither of you has all the expense)
– Is a borrower (this is a bit awkward to find out, but if they tell you they have all their books, computer, lots of clothing etc, you may assume they will not take YOURS)
– Is a ‘neat freak’ or a ‘slob’
– Will divide the cost of food for the room, cleaning bathroom, etc.
If you have this talk early on and you are honest with each other about what you prefer and how you want to live on campus, you will be much happier. The longer you want to explore your differences and preferences, the harder the conversation will become. It is always better to establish boundaries and guidelines up front, than to make assumptions!