If this is your first year in college, you may be suffering from uncertainty and homesickness. If you left behind a high school romance, you may also long for the companionship and intimacy of a relationship. College dating can be thorny, especially because you are still trying to find your footing. If you can resist getting serious about anyone until you feel secure and confident in your new life, you are less likely to grab onto a relationship just to satisfy your need for closeness. Sure! Date, have fun and meet new people, but try not to get serious with anyone right away. Keep your options and your environment open until your head stops spinning. You will be much happier with the outcome.
You should also beware of the problems your new-found freedom may bring. It is tempting to jump into a lot of one-night stands with different people and you may begin to feel as if you don’t know where you are going, or what you want. You may also feel used or out of control and this can cause other emotional and psychological symptoms. Keep it cool, meet people and stay out of the revolving door syndrome.
Hallway hook-ups and floor hopping can create problems for you and friction between roommates, friends and dorm residents. Think about what you are doing before you jump in. It will be awkward and weird to be seeing this person every day and dealing with the rumors and gossip that may ensue. You may start to take the long way around to avoid seeing that person or looking furtively up and down the hall to be sure you don’t bump into him/her. Just take your time and think!
You have plenty of time to find people you like and to discover your shared interests. You can join clubs and study groups and meet people in class, cafeteria or café. Get to know each other first so you know you aren’t hooking up with a jerk. Go to school events (dances, drama or dance presentations, community service stuff). Don’t use alcohol or drugs to mask the awkward feelings or uncertainty. You will have to face your choices the next day and they may not be pleasant.
If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend at home and you decide you want the freedom to date and meet other people at school, be honest with your high school sweetheart. Don’t let them find out by accident. It isn’t fair.
And be prepared! If you fall madly in love with another college student, you may forsake family and friends, basking in the rose-colored euphoria of on campus romance. Try your best to balance this situation so you don’t lose other relationships and find yourself alone if and when your new love becomes your old love. Don’t hesitate to bring your beau home to meet friends and family but don’t expect you will be allowed to sleep in the same room. Parents are funny like that!
If, perchance, you end up in a REAL long-term relationship and you marry or move in together after college, you should know this: The result of the huge increase in college attendance by kids in every income bracket is that two people meet in college and marry their offspring seem to be smarter and better educated. So, if you meet your one true love in college, and have children together, you are actually improving global intelligence!